Absolutely Perfect

The best first post that has ever been written

I wanted something amazing for my first post here, but…what’s the saying about the best being the enemy of the good? If we wait until something feels perfect to let it loose into the world we may never let it loose at all, always striving to make it just a tiny bit better, always convinced it’s not QUITE good enough.

My youngest child headed off to college this year and I immediately commandeered the desk in his room as my sewing station. I sewed when I was younger, almost a decade of projects churned out under the watchful eyes of my 4-H advisors. I had let it lapse for decades, only occasionally turning out something which ran the gamut of “does not meet expectations” to “downright unwearable.” But now, facing an empty nest, I needed a hobby. Sewing suited my nature as an introvert.

My first shirt was a disaster. A comfortable one that I can wear around the house, but a complete aesthetic shambles. The pants that I sewed for my daughter? Four inches too long and the seams started popping threads immediately because I forgot to switch the stitch on my machine. (How was I the same person who had made prizeworthy outfits in my younger years?)

Like a good citizen of the digital age I turned to the internet. I have amassed hours watching YouTube videos on sewing techniques, fabric choice, book recommendations. I have Googled countless “How do I…” questions. And I have become nearly paralyzed when it comes to starting a new project.

There are so many questions to be answered. Which pattern should I choose? What adjustments does it need? What is the best fabric? I have no fewer than four sewing books arrayed across my sofa in the hopes that the right book will magically turn me into the person who can produce amazing garments.

It doesn’t work like that, though. All the books, all the videos, they won’t improve my sewing one bit if I don’t just sit down at the machine and do it. It takes practice. It takes trying one thing and failing, then trying another and getting a tiny bit better, taking those results and building on them again. Eventually I’ll probably produce something I’ll even be proud to wear.

I’m carrying this forward into my life. Not hiding my writing until it feels like I’ve achieved the perfect combination of words to make you weep or laugh or topple governments and bring about world peace (I have such small ambitions). I want to put myself out boldly into the world, both in my writing and in my personal life. I want to show up exactly as I am, every wonky seam, crooked collar, mismatched pattern, quirky personality trait of me. Some people will love me, some will hate me, most will probably just be completely ambivalent if they even cross paths with me at all. That’s okay.

What are you afraid to show the world?

How can you practice showing up even when you aren’t as perfect as you would like to be?